


Safe and Sound

by Anonymous



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Smut, Non-Explicit, kinda-sorta Christmas fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 10:43:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2848058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren needed a break and Levi needed redemption. </p>
<p>But maybe it was selfishness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe and Sound

**Author's Note:**

> For Ravn.

Eren's fever lasted for five days. 

Levi was the one who held vigil late into the cold nights. The quiet room was his once he'd ordered Mikasa back to her own quarters for rest, flaring up that quiet rage of hers that Levi understood better than he'd admit to her. Things had to be a certain way. He said it was his duty - not hers - as Eren's designated caretaker to forgo sleep in favor of keeping that infuriatingly reckless boy safe. 

Truthfully, Levi's restlessness was spurred by an uninvited protectiveness that had developed steadily in the two-year span since Eren was first assigned to his squad, though there were few who knew. They were not close in a traditional sense, but Eren had become his favorite all too quickly, breaking down unseen walls without even trying. He was honest in ways far more reckless than Erwin, as persistent as Hange in stubborn determination to become friends, and strong-willed enough for every ghost Levi had left behind. The soft spot he'd developed was more a festering wound that ached only more as time went by.

In the silence of the first winter freeze, standing strong over Eren's weary body, it all began to crumble down and there was no stopping the fall.

On the first night, he sat still in the wooden chair at Eren's bedside, only carefully watching his rose tinged cheeks and the part of his lips as he shivered in the fiery light. He was too far to touch, but close enough to see the rise and fall of his chest. Stubborn and occasionally irrational, Eren never seemed to know his own limits. He allowed them to push him too far, too often, and Levi was left with the bitter guilt of encouraging such mindless devotion over and over again. Every time they brought Eren back to his bed unconscious, the reality came down hard on him and regret fueled his obsession. 

Eren needed a break and Levi needed redemption. 

There was never any turning back. 

On the second night, they were closer. Levi boldly pulled his chair closer to Eren's bed, the wood paneled walls rattling in the wind and freezing rain outside. Just past midnight, he tentatively brushed a hand through Eren's bangs, slow and cautious like he were petting a potentially rapid dog. Each minute brought him closer to crossing that line, to telling Eren his secret. The sound of his breathing became a lullaby, numbing Levi to his illness and injury. Seeing Eren so subdued was always equal parts disquieting, endearing, and weirdly thrilling. There was never need to question these things.

He was healing, that was certain. He'd woken on and off that afternoon, his friends entertaining him all the while, trying to share broth and warm jam to keep his spirits up, which he barely kept down. Levi had stayed on the opposite end of the barracks, reminding himself repeatedly of how Eren did not ask for him - and would not, not ever. It was always for the better, this way, and Levi always had the night.

Ever hopeful, despite what others believed, Levi selfishly wanted very much to be there when he woke again. However, Eren always slept soundly through the night, Levi's fingers still tangled amid the roots of his hair. It was peaceful, quiet, and the room filled with Eren's scent - that scent that was always so clean and fresh like wind in the summer, amid a world of decay. It wasn't an unpleasant way to spend those long winter nights.

Hange relieved him at daybreak and smiled knowingly at the quick recoil of his hand. "He'll be fine," Hange assured in their boisterous tone. "You know he's been dealt worse, so no need to keep losing sleep over it."

"It's troublesome if he dies." Levi huffed, the edge of a plea slipping into his voice - obvious to ears that knew Levi well - and Hange smiled. He wavered slightly before sliding out of the room to hide the relief that Hange's words, however carelessly spoken, could always instill upon him. Hange knew what ridiculous notion Levi would not ever say out loud; that he was in love with Eren, however impractical it may be.

On the third night, Levi sat on his bedside. The straw mattress creaked against the frame underneath his weight, amplified by the silence of the snow-covered hills outside. Eren stirred when Levi's fingers found their way back to play with his hair, with the heat from Eren's body subtle against the small of his back. His lashes fluttered against his flush skin before his eyes widened in surprise at Levi's presence. 

For a moment Levi thought to pull back, not ready for Eren to understand this part of him, not ready to reveal this particular secret, and not ready for the rejection he knew would come. Yet, he remained still, hand hovering against Eren's brow while his face relaxed in the shadows. 

"Go back to sleep," Levi ordered, his voice as hard as it ever was. He was callous even when he wanted not to be.

Yet Eren smiled at him, perfect white teeth beneath the stretch of his chapped lips. "You keep me safe," he said in a soft, raw and cracked voice. Then his eyes fluttered closed once again. 

Levi had no idea what he meant by those words and it haunted him for hours to come. He was awful at keeping anyone safe, much less Eren who Levi would personally thrust into danger repeatedly until they lost him for good. Levi stayed perched on the edge of his mattress, listening to the walls creak in the cold but he did not touch Eren for the remainder of the night.

On the fourth night, Eren was already awake and alert when Levi entered the room. His quiet conversation with Mikasa came to an abrupt stop when Levi quietly entered the doorway with warm tea in hand. She was sitting primly in the wooden chair pulled against Eren's bed and Eren grinning stupidly at his entrance. Levi waited patiently against the door while she and Eren argued in low murmurs, about him most certainly. She finally slipped out, suspicion etched over her face as she wordlessly stepped by. Levi felt something heavy and foreboding in his gut.

"I'll be ready to train tomorrow," Eren said with a scratchy voice and Levi scowled at his hopeful face. 

His cheeks were sunken in and his brown still damp with sweat. An empty saucer with scattered breadcrumbs lay abandoned at the table beside his bed and Levi replaced it with the glass of tea. It was his finest blend, stirred with cinnamon and a touch on honey. He'd prepared it for himself, not expecting Eren to be awake, but was always good at improvising situations when he needed. "Drink and go back to sleep," Levi demanded. "You'll be ready to train when I say you are."

Eren smiled sheepishly and cradled the cup in his hands as though it were a prized possession, letting the steam wash across his face. They sat wordlessly in the quiet until Eren finished the glass. Levi knew he could leave Eren alone, that there was little if any reason for his continued presence but something kept him rooted in the uncomfortable chair. 

That was the first night Eren kissed him. 

He'd dozed off after finishing half the tea and Levi placed a hand on his forehead, still clammy with fever. He was careless to let his fingers trace down Eren's jaw and then back to his cheek. The chill in the air felt worse that night and Levi brought in another blanket and re-lit the fire in the hearth. When he let his hand land back on Eren's cheek, he blinked once and then twice. Instead of speaking, he turned his head and his lips met Levi's palm. He stayed perfectly still, thoughtlessly allowing Eren to kiss his wrist, pushing up the sleeve of his dress shirt. 

When their eyes met, Levi knew he'd made a mistake he could never undo. Eren looked almost mischievous, his eyes brighter than they had been in days, hot breath purposely tickling the hairs on Levi's arm. Then somehow both of his hands were in Eren's hair and he was leaning over him, mouths clumsily brushing against one another. When they parted, the world felt lighter on Levi's shoulders than it ever had before. Eren was smiling below him, despite his tired eyes.

"I'm sorry," Levi said, the wave of guilt hitting him three minutes too late. Eren looked confused and Levi moved back to the chair to wait until he fell back asleep. They didn't speak about it further.

On the fifth night, Eren finally broke his fever. When Levi came to see him the room was already empty, save Eren still huddled in his bed, skin back to it's normal tan complexion and he waiting patiently for Levi's visit. He didn't know how Eren had shoed off his friends early or how the barracks ended up so quiet that night. When the door latched shut behind his back, Levi really wanted to tell Eren that he was wrong for wanting him, that whatever he thought he saw was wrong. Levi was no hero.

Instead the words stayed buried deep inside. Eren gave him a big smile and held out his hands, something small cupped in his palms. Levi approached cautiously, glancing at the slip of folded white paper in confusion.

"Mikasa taught me how to fold paper into shapes when were still kids," he said in an uncharacteristically shy voice, laughing awkwardly. He was blushing. "I'm not nearly as good at it as she is. Actually I'm really, really bad. I never paid attention. It's supposed to be a bird."

Levi froze where he was, boots heavy on the wood floor. He knew he was frowning only because Eren's face fell in front of him. He couldn't feel anything past the knot in his stomach, the familiarity, and the pain that came with it.

That was not what he meant, it was never what he meant.

"I'm sorry," Eren retracted, his gaze falling to the floor. His hands went back to his lap. "Hange mentioned it was your birthday. And I thought -"

Levi had forgotten. 

"You're an idiot," he chastised, and reached to Eren's hand to pluck the bird out of his grasp and place it on the nightstand. 

He crawled onto the bed, his hands moving in favor of Eren's face. He was still warm, warmer than anyone Levi had ever held. Levi kissed him for a second time. Then a third. Eren asked him why he was shaking and Levi realized he hadn't noticed that either. He'd noticed only Eren's hands fumbling with the buttons of his shirt and brushing up his sides to the base of his ribs. He noticed Eren's tongue and teeth on his neck and then his collarbone. 

Eren asked if it was okay if he kept going, and Levi was unable to tell him no.

The next few minutes were a blur of hands and lips on skin, words forgotten and lost along the way. They swallowed each others words, Levi trying to be slower and gentler than he knew he could be. He asked Eren a dozen times if he was sure, until Eren started laughing at him.

It didn't make sense. 

The room was suddenly only Eren's smell and the taste of his skin. He reminded Levi still of that warm summer breeze, the feel of that wind in his face when they ventured outside the walls. It was a mess, feeling tethered to someone, and worse when they were intent on pulling you down with them. This time it couldn't be stopped.

Levi asked Eren where he kept the supplies for his gear, specifically the oil for his leathers. It was obvious Eren didn't follow his train of thought until he was back in the bed, oil in hand and mouth trailing down Eren's stomach and over his clothed erection. His hands tangled in Levi's hair, his voice breathless and pleading for him to keep going.

It wasn't how Levi had imagined in any of his fantasies. He wondered how many fantasies Eren had shared over the years, if he'd wanted Levi as long as Levi wanted him. He wasn't sure he really wanted to know.

He spread the oil over Eren's length himself. There was a need for Eren to be inside of him, though he couldn't recall ever needing something like that before. He pulled off the remainder of his clothes, and lay down on his stomach, positioning Eren over him. 

He expected it to burn, to help numb the dull ache in his heart, but he hadn't expected it to actually feel good. He hadn't realized how warm it would be, Eren's bare skin pressed against his back, his larger hands closed over Levi's fists in the sheets, and Eren moving inside him, prying him open. One minute he thought he’d break in half and the next Eren was simply part of him. 

For a second he wondered if it was a mistake, allowing Eren this. It probably was. 

He didn’t regret it yet.

He came with an embarrassing whimper and Eren shortly after… or maybe it was before. Time was oddly melting together. 

Reality didn’t hit him afterward like he expected. The world fell into an unexpected equilibrium as Eren collapsed next to him, his breathing uneven and tired. Eren murmured until he fell asleep minutes later, leaving Levi to adjust to the stickiness between his legs. For all Eren's insistence that Levi was some sort of protector, Levi was the one who felt safe in his presence.

Eren was his shelter and his biggest vice. The paths now crossed, there was no turning back.


End file.
